i-lost-the-ability-toucan

jommeez:

wow first of all how do you even touch a bird

i-lost-the-ability-toucan

marcoereus:

I’m so tired of people telling me German is an “ugly, angry” language. When my German teacher tells us jokes it’s the sweetest, happiest language in the world. When I teach my father the word for daughter he smiles, repeating “Tochter” to himself until he gets it right, and in that moment German sounds like pride. There’s nothing angry or ugly about a language that never says goodbye, only “until we meet again.”

i-lost-the-ability-toucan

The Best April Fools’ Prank (That I Shall Ever Do)

jabberwockyx:

justatiltedlamp:

Once upon a time, I decided that it was my solemn obligation to prank my friends before we graduated.

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So…I made Hogwarts Acceptance letters. A lot of them. Because who isn’t still waiting for their freaking letter to arrive?

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My hand hated me so much. Also, cursive G is the worst.

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Letters were posted. All was well.

Until this happened…

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What the-?

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This is literally the best thing I have ever seen in my entire life.

arw0
semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

arw0

unicorn-chicken:

animaltalley2112:

queenyday:

shego1142:

sydthesquyd:

theangelsparade:

my-nerdiverse:

fishsticks-not-dicks:

threeyearsonemonthandfivedays:

uncommonlymodestmermaid:

i-love-you-most-ardently:

chloebeale:

sendricamp:

Bohemian Rhapsody. Double Speed.

if you can listen to this entire thing with a straight face i will give you a cookie

I CRAP MYSELF LAUGHING 0.2 SECONDS IN OMG THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER

at first i was like challenge accepted but then Galileo happened

WHAT

still better than every other song

Challenge acce- GALILEO

But the solo.. Holy crap. What?

GALILEO 

never scrolling past this

This is actually really catchy

When I listen to this, I have this tine little chicken right before my eyes…

When you’re bored at the beach, you can find THE perfect booty.